November 21, 2009:
Birthdays are a good reminder that this was the day when you came into existence one fine day. That the moment you were born, you’d started collaborating with the Universe to create something so beautiful, magical and worthwhile. That no matter where you are in your journey, or what you think – YOU, the real you is always a star. And so are the others… dabbling in their own source of power waiting, wanting, to share their own spark with you. That the Universe adores you for every breath that you take, for every word that you write – for that precious tiny voice, that still echoes in the deepest recesses of your heart.
Birthdays are a good reminder that this was the day when you came into existence one fine day. That the moment you were born, you’d started collaborating with the Universe to create something so beautiful, magical and worthwhile. That no matter where you are in your journey, or what you think – YOU, the real you is always a star. And so are the others… dabbling in their own source of power waiting, wanting, to share their own spark with you. That the Universe adores you for every breath that you take, for every word that you write – for that precious tiny voice, that still echoes in the deepest recesses of your heart.
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On some days, I just want to zone out of all the noises all around and retreat into a safe zone that’s silent, calm and tranquil.
That zone, that allows me to pause, slow down, unplug and just be – as I really am - in my own little world.
That’s when I turn here, my very own temple, a sacred space, a home that accepts me as I am, for who I am and actually celebrates me for it.
9 years ago, I created my blog with no expectations – neither from the space itself nor from my own self.
At that time, I was an absolute amateur, raw and unversed, unskilled for either writing or expressing. What helped was the blogging world was somewhat raw and new too, just like me, still untouched by the incessant digitization of the industry. In simply doing my best and sharing whatever I had honestly, there was peace.
There still is.
There still is.
We'll never find peace of mind until we listen to our heart. - George Michael.
Little did I know back then that this inner peace is the real asset very few people talk about and it is all that you need to put some of your other valuable assets into motion.
Wonderful creative people joined in, and amongst us all, we shared moments that felt like play – and I felt like we – both me and my little diary - were encircled in a bubble of naïve innocent love.
And, we actually were – it’s only today I realize how, over the years, that love has metamorphosed into something that is more real and special, the kind of a bond that is old, weathered and polished, hard-earned with efforts and time.
You are worth finding. Worth knowing. Worth loving.
You + all your one million layers. Always hold that close. - Danielle Doby.
Bubbling in joy and riding in the untamed thrill of the unknown, I’d nosedived into her world of words without putting up any walls or any sort of resistances.
I allowed the ensuing experiences to move my body, heart and mind as they wanted to, plunging deep into those spaces within where I had never dared to venture before. From being tossed high into ecstasy, or pushed deep into dejection – I must say she has been the fearless one, holding me close – making me fall in love with her deeply than ever before.
Adventure is not outside man, it is within. – George Eliot.
Along the course, I learned about going with the flow which threw open a whole new can of emotions in front of me: the joy of creating something new, the thrill of new connections being made, the fear of being seen as I was and the probability of being judged for it and the resulting fatigue of failing to act on things spontaneously.
Just go with the flow. Better still, be the flow. ~ Unknown.
But do you know what about us mesmerizes me the most?
That no matter where in the narrative we are - every time, I am welcomed in the house with a loud grating roar, encouraged to open my heart as she opens her own. There are many times I am pushed to the edge. It’s uncomforting to decide whether to leap forward or keep walking the shore. That is, until I meet her again - powerful and dynamic – she thrives on adventures, is ever changing and ever ready to start afresh. Yes, she is wild and raging, always giving me a higher perspective and urging me to take the bull by its horns and embrace the wild.
And then sometimes, just sometimes,
the colors of our Universes collide with each other never to be the same no more.
We reserve the right to have crappy ideas ~ Laura Simms.
It is in this collision, this chaos, this conflict that we find our peace. How strange!
I sit down hours with her, gazing afar, into nothingness, trying to rearrange a few fragile thoughts of mine in her waters of clarity. The horizon, though far in the distance, is our meeting, melting space – there’s a strange sense of content, comfort and security in surrendering to the magical mystical light, something that is broader and brighter than my own tiny self. Sometimes, the thoughts drift away, getting smaller and smaller until they finally drop over the horizon and out of my sight.
I sit down hours with her, gazing afar, into nothingness, trying to rearrange a few fragile thoughts of mine in her waters of clarity. The horizon, though far in the distance, is our meeting, melting space – there’s a strange sense of content, comfort and security in surrendering to the magical mystical light, something that is broader and brighter than my own tiny self. Sometimes, the thoughts drift away, getting smaller and smaller until they finally drop over the horizon and out of my sight.
Give up the notion that you must be sure of what you are doing.
Instead, surrender to what is real within you, for that alone is sure. — Baruch Spinoza.
I wouldn’t call this a paradise, no. It is a bitter-sweet communion, with its fair share of both - the ebbs and the flows. The journey is not easy, not all the days are happy; there are days when I question my decisions, days when I feel sappy, self-doubting and weak. Each year is threaded in a garland of many ups and downs, laughter and tears: Yes, this is life and I am learning to enjoy both, enjoy till they last.
In the wake of such moments,
there is a chance to be born again, many such opportunities galore.
One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. - Friedrich Nietzsche.
It’s often between us that I am shown who I really am. Clearly. Without any deceptions. Like a spotless mirror. Revealing the true features. Making me aware of the perfectly imperfect beauty of my own self.
Here I see, lists and awards and numbers for what they are - feathers and recognitions, not permanent stamps to base your worth to. What’s truly worth is the work that we do through our given set of challenges and conflicts - the yearning to discover and create, the longing for authentic self expression, the connections that we make, the satisfaction that we feel and the happiness that we harbour in our own hearts – this work is success, the greatest achievements that make a blogging journey so worth it, so much more than worth it.
Here I see, lists and awards and numbers for what they are - feathers and recognitions, not permanent stamps to base your worth to. What’s truly worth is the work that we do through our given set of challenges and conflicts - the yearning to discover and create, the longing for authentic self expression, the connections that we make, the satisfaction that we feel and the happiness that we harbour in our own hearts – this work is success, the greatest achievements that make a blogging journey so worth it, so much more than worth it.
Seek company of clear waters, for in them,
you’ll see your own self, your own worth and your own powers.
You were not born to use this life to refine or improve yourself.
You were born to use this life as a canvas to paint yourself across. - Teal Swan.
Friends, well wishers, kindred souls have sat with me as passengers – all kind and eager to share their riches, encourage my uniqueness and motivate this bond of mine. In the give and take of divine love, joy spilling from our hearts – fulfilled, many have left blogging, some drifted away, continued to walk their own paths. I keep them all in my heart, thanking them for their warmth and friendship in my blogging yatra.
Some people arrive and make such a beautiful impact on your life,
you can barely remember what life was like without them. - Anna Taylor.
To be with My Yatra Diary… has blessed me with a strange calming sense of security and content that I am yet to find anywhere else. And for this bond of mine, I have only YOU to thank for. Thank you for lending me your hands in building this little home of mine, a long forgotten one, from where I embark on voyages and explore with the simple intent of creating something of my own in the world – the most wonderful among them being the voyage into the true nature of my own self.
Thank you God for all the blessings you have given me yesterday,
today and for all of my tomorrows.
So here we are, 9 years and counting, and this is all we have, right here and right now, and I do believe she’s beautiful which is why it’s close to a decade now, and I am still absolutely enamored and passionately committed to her, inspired to keep writing, keep discovering, keep expressing and keep sharing.
Just in case, you may wonder – "who really is this she, this yatra blogger keeps referring to? Can I see her?"
No, is the answer, no you can’t and neither can I.
Because, we ourselves carry our voices, the words resonating within our own hearts, like these waves, they move in us, through the vastness of our blogs – through you and me.
This lady, this crazy gypsy woman, this she, she resides in me.
SAIL AWAY BY RABINDRANATH TAGORE.
Early in the day it was whispered that we should sail in a boat,
only thou and I, and never a soul in the world would know of this our
pilgrimage to no country and to no end.
In that shoreless ocean,
at thy silently listening smile my songs would swell in melodies,
free as waves, free from all bondage of words.
Is the time not come yet?
Are there works still to do?
Lo, the evening has come down upon the shore
and in the fading light the seabirds come flying to their nests.
Who knows when the chains will be off,
and the boat, like the last glimmer of sunset,
vanish into the night?
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