I am a looser. Two drops of tears roll down my cheeks as I take stock of the situation. It’s no use crying now. I have lost. My dreams have crashed. Everything is over. Was all my hard work not worth any recognition? But alas! Nothing can be changed now. Someone out there has been selected; someone out there has an edge.
I am a looser. Or Am I?
I had given my best. I had given it my heart, given it my true self.
Excitedly I used to get up early every day and sit down with my pen and papers. The clarity in the morning hours opened me up and its silence would encourage my thoughts. The hanging chill in the air seemed to laud. I would spend hours immersed with my diary. I was in love. I loved the sense of tender touch when my pen would start to move, I loved the sense of movement when I began to write. I loved my inner voice, it would tell a writer, a raw writer like me: You know something; you are not bad at all!
Isn't winning working hard, trying your best
and believing that you can do it?
Inspired, I would soon find myself in a world of my own, soaked in my own sweet self, gaining momentum with every inch covered in my flight of fantasy. I didn't bother of any rules, nor of anybody existing, non existing, in this world. For me, what mattered was me, my thoughts and my inspiration. This was my world. Here, there were no restrictions, no barriers, and no bondages holding me back. I was free, I was happy and so was every written word of mine. Delighted I would stop to inspect it every now and then: My piece was gaining meat.
Isn't winning giving birth to something -- anything
unique and original?
Yes. Today, I feel low. The same things seem to be mocking. There is chaos all around. The same breeze which once comforted me seems to rapidly slap my face. I shout and cry. I am ashamed. My tears are the proof of my failure. My world is in turmoil, it has turned upside down. I love it no more. It is not even bright anymore. The day is over. Pitch darkness looms large. Outside as well as within.
Isn't winning feeling that prick when
you lose out on something that you worked really hard for?
Isn't failure an important step towards winning?
Suddenly, I see a golden hue. A faint ray of light trickles in through the creak of my window and dips me aglow. I can hear people congratulating me. The claps are getting louder. I am smiling, there is a twinkle in my eyes, my heart is brimming with joy.
Suddenly the hue is gone and I am back to my senses. A gust of breeze sweeps in tossing a few pages of my diary in a ruffle. The pen rolls to and fro. There is stillness around. A new dawn is here. I feel the urge to start writing again.
Isn't winning dusting off disappointments
and forging ahead in hope?
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A few months later:
Two drops of tears roll down my cheeks as I take stock of the situation. My dreams have soared like a kite flying high. Everything is a new. Everything has changed. I am more confident. I am filled with pride. I am making my own destiny. I am making history. I am drenched in an ecstatic overwhelming feeling, one that can never be described only felt. I am personally satisfied. I am a winner. I am happy.
|Winning is scripting your success story -- your style!|
Hesitant and nervous, I start giving my winning speech.
"What can I say? Just like me, in this conclave today, there are innumerable winners, perhaps far more talented and better than me. This win is not mine alone. I salute all those who are dedicated, inspired and motivated to put their best foot forward in order to achieve personal satisfaction and happiness in all that they are doing. I salute all of you. You all are inspirational. You all are winners for me. And I bow my head in great humility before all of you."
Bowing thus, silently, I thank my Master, thank my blessings, and thank my inner voice as I feel grateful to my winning quest; it has today changed my perception of winning (and loosing!). Winning is not about acing medals or counting trophies but a lot more... It is about happiness you sense at an individual level, it is a feeling more personal. I make a little note in my diary. I have found my answer.
I was never a looser; a winner all along.
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PS: This post is my entry to a contest being held by IndiBlogger in association with India Today conclave 2014 under the topic - "What does winning mean to you?" Please wish me luck. :-)